11/1/17 – Halloween Costumes

Hey Raspberries, just thought I’d share my Halloween costumes from this year with you. And I’m throwing in last year’s too because I think I forgot to.

2017a: Wonder Woman

(I normally like to make my own costume, but this year I didn’t really have the time, energy, or funds, so I just bought this one online and made alterations to it. I took the skirt way up, because originally it was below my knee.)

I’m also including a link to a makeup tutorial I made for this costume.

2017b: Dean Winchester

This one was for a Halloween social thrown by a student org. My friend and I went together. She dressed up as Castiel (she went all out with the genderbent makeup, I didn’t because I’m lazy trash).

(Destiel is our OTP lol.)

2016: Fem!Spock

I actually did make the dress for this costume. It’s painfully obvious that this was the first full garment I’d ever made. The wig was a 70s style wig with bangs that I cut straight across to resemble Spock’s infamous hairstyle. Here’s a link to the makeup tutorial for that costume, where I shaved off half my eyebrows.

I love Halloween; it’s the best holiday ever. ~TRL

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New Beginnings

Today was my first day at my new university…and man, was I trepidacious.

Uprooting yourself from what you’re acclimatized to is always a traumatic experience. I had to leave my school, my teachers, my apartment, and my friends all back in Waco. A new start. And this time, I didn’t really want one.

However…it hasn’t been the awful experience I was dreading.

My apartment is nice. Bigger bedroom, bigger closet, my own bathroom! Bliss, thy name is privacy. Also, no more crummy bitch monsters as roommates. The three girls I’m living with now are nice, considerate, and friendly. They actually invite me to do things with them! The other day we all went to a comedy show at our school together, and yesterday we went to one of those Paint-A-Plate places and got froyo afterward, then went for a late night swim. This is what the college experience is supposed to be, not hiding in your bedroom watching Netflix because your roommates hate you.

So, the first day. First of all, my new campus is sprawling compared to my old one. As I mapped out my schedule, I realized with some despondency that I had quite the daily trudge ahead of me.

My first class was Writing For Mass Media. I…don’t really have an impression of it yet. The teacher just introduced herself, told us which book to buy, that was pretty much it. I guess we’ll see.

After that, I had History of Costume, and on my way there I made two interesting discoveries: tomorrow night, there’s a “lavender mixer” for LGBT+ students. Shoot, you know I’m going to that! Where my people at? But what am I going to wear?

The other discovery was…Brian! An old friend of mine from high school. Brian was one of the few theatre kids who wasn’t a total asshat. (His name isn’t actually Brian, but I changed it to protect his identity.) Seeing Brian, to me, was a good omen that maybe, everything here would be okay.

When I signed up for History of Costume, I thought I was signing up for an easy A – boy, was I ever wrong. The teacher walked in and immediately referred to herself as Satan. Never a good sign. I also found out that I have to write a 10 page term paper on costumes from a historic movie. Oh well. I do like a challenge. And after writing a goddamn 26 page paper on trans bathroom rights issues for US Government this past spring, this is gonna be no sweat.

My last class today was Intro To Visual Arts (it’s just for a credit). This one was on the completely opposite corner of campus. I only had five minutes to get there. Needless to say, I was a little late. But the teacher is cool, and I explained my situation, and she said it was fine if I came in a few minutes after class started, that lots of students had that problem. God, college professors are such angels.

So the verdict for this day?…surprisingly okay. I’m definitely gonna have to get myself in shape for all this hiking I have to do (and maybe invest in a good pair of walking shoes), but overall, I had a pretty damn good first day.

They say girls go to college to get more knowledge. Well I’ve been in college long enough to know that the first day is always the easiest – it’s all uphill from here.

Oh well. At least my last class is next to a Taco Bell. Olé. ~TRL 🌮

Why All The Villains Are Gay

More than likely, you’ve watched a TV show or movie where the protagonist and their same sex opponent have…weird sexual chemistry. Maybe the villain gets up in the main guy’s personal space; maybe they make lewd innuendoes; maybe they tell the hero they were meant to be together or something. Sounds romantic, almost, in a really twisted way.

I’ve been thinking about this lately, about why a lot of villains are Ambiguously Gay, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a matter of homophobia (necessarily). Let me explain. On my blog post about Hannigram, I talked a bit about enemyslash, and why I thought Bryan Fuller chose to inject his series with an overdose of homoerotic subtext (if it can even be called subtext anymore). I mentioned that it was Hannibal’s intention to seduce Will to the dark side. Emphasis on the word seduce. In a similar fashion, Passion Of The Nerd covered the lesbian subtext between Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Faith represents Buffy’s shadow self, Slayer power left unchecked. If Faith is symbolic of temptation to act out of selfish wants instead of duty and the desire to do good, it would make sense, then, that Faith would be…tempting.

Often times in film and television, the main character’s archnemesis reflects them, is their dark half, like Iago in Shakespeare’s Othello. A classic archetype for this equation is Professor Moriarty from Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes adventures. Both Holmes and Moriarty are geniuses, but whereas Holmes uses his wits to defeat crime and do good, Moriarty employs his in committing the crimes. Which is why BBC Sherlock, a slow burn gay romance between the famous consulting detective and his army doctor life mate, has produced one of the most overtly homosexual Moriartys in Holmes canon history (thank you, Moffat and Gatiss).

Usually, the dark mirror half can recognize themself in the light mirror half, and wants to combine their forces to be even stronger. Thus, the villain must seduce the protagonist to the dark side. To better mirror the two characters, they’re often made the same gender (since, you know, men and women can’t be equals, right?), so when you produce Doctor Evilman trying to coax Goodguy Heromale to the dark side, ho yay is bound to follow.

Course, I could be completely wrong and it could all be a plot for the viewing public to associate queerness with being evil, but I like to think positively, you know? ~TRL

4-30-16

Hey, guys. I’m just going to be a little introspective here.

So, I’m an artist. And being an artist, as my professor always says, means taking risks. But lately, I’ve noticed, I’ve been curling more and more into myself at the fear of failure. Too afraid to sing out, or try for a part in a play, or even answer a question because I’m just so scared.

You know, all my life, I’ve had nothing but people at every turn telling me how wrong I am. That I’ll never do better than second place, I’ll never quite make the mark, I can’t do anything right – okay. Maybe that’s not people. Maybe that’s me. But all my little failures and embarrassments over the years have just built up and built up and built up into this inferiority complex. You’re not smart. You’re not capable. You can’t do anything. Why do you bother getting up in the morning? Just stay in bed and binge on Netflix forever. You’ll never be good enough, at anything. Just stop.

It’s the reason why I haven’t been able to bring myself to practice my music or memorize any lines for anything lately, because I am just so sad and so tired of fighting for nothing and so beaten. I didn’t know, at first, what was wrong with me. I used to be so driven. I just feel like a chump in everyone’s eyes. A nothing. A big, fat, loser.

Then I realized: they see me that way because I see me that way. I have taught myself to believe that I can’t accomplish anything, so I don’t work hard, and then I fail, and then people believe that I’m a loser, which makes me believe I’m a loser, which makes me give up, which makes me fail…and so on, and so on, and so on.

I used to watch this cartoon when I was little, called Rescue Heroes. And there was one episode, one quote, that always stuck with me: “The only real failure is giving up.”

Maybe I’m the one who has to break this vicious cycle. And no, it’s not so easy to believe in yourself, to learn how to love yourself. But I have to believe that there’s hope. And maybe…that has to start with me. ~TRL

Coming Clean

I’ve come to a realization about myself: I am bisexual.

I use to say I was straight, but I honest to God don’t believe I am anymore. I mean, I still like guys, but girls, man! But seriously, 50% of the people I’ve kissed are female or female aligned (and I enjoyed it immensely), and I find my mind opening to the prospect of being with a girl more and more each day. And like I said, I’m not a full out lesbian, but, well…there are definite perks to both sexes.

The reason I don’t like the term “bisexual” is because it just has such a negative connotation. Most people think of bisexuals as sluts, and Hollywood’s portrayal of them hasn’t been all that positive. Maureen from Rent, or even Jack Harkness from Torchwood, are not good examples of bisexuals. Bisexual just means you’re attracted to more than one gender. Just because I find multiple genders attractive, doesn’t mean I take monogamy any less seriously.

I’m not posing, I’m not following a trend, and I’m not saying because I think it sounds cool. I’ve been thinking long and hard about this for awhile, and I have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual. And I don’t take that lightly. I know who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. ~TRL

How NOT To Time Travel

Now, I’ve seen a lot of movies and TV shows about time travel (I don’t know if you know this or not, but I kind of like Doctor Who), and I think I’ve pretty much gotten the basics of successful, non-harmful time travel down pat. There are just three basic rules you have to adhere to, but if you do, time travel can be an excellent past time.

Rule #1: Don’t kill Hitler.
You weren’t the first person to think of this; you won’t be the last. The first thing everyone thinks when time traveling is, “I’m gonna kill Hitler!” Or altering history in some other, very influencial way. Just…don’t do it. It’s not smart.

I know what you’re saying: “But Hitler was terrible! He caused the Holocaust and World War II! How could it be a bad idea to off him before he kills all those innocent people?” Yes, I know, and I fully appreciate your good intentions. Doesn’t mean you’re on any less of a road to Hell.

Okay, let’s take Hitler for example. Say you kill him before he rises to power. Now you’ve prevented the slaughter of over six million Jews, and the lives of countless soldiers in World War II. Which is good, right? Except now, a whole lot more people exist in the world. And so do their children. And their children. And their children. The world population just got a whole lot bigger, you see? You might have caused future overpopulation, or more prominent world hunger. Plus you never know who could have been among those ranks-it could even be the Hitler of this generation, or someone worse than Hitler! You just don’t know.

Bottom line is…don’t save MLK, don’t try to stop 9-11, and don’t kill Hitler. Because I hate to bring divine intervention into this but…sometimes things just happen because that’s the way they were meant to happen.

Rule #2: Don’t have an affair.
Or if you do, you jolly well better not get married and/or have children. With someone from the past or future, I mean. Wanna start a family? Do it with someone from your own time period. Because you never know. That handsome romantic Roman gladiator could be your great-great-great…great grandfather. Or that scantily clad half robot girl might be one of your descendants. Then DNA kicks in and all your children have one eye and stumps for legs…we’re talking temporal incest, people. Stay away from that sh*t.

Which brings me to rule three, which I cannot stress enough…

Rule #3: Don’t meddle with your own timeline.
This is the biggie. The one people always screw up on. Let me say this once and for all: do not go back and alter your own timeline.

You’re probably arguing that there can absolutely consequences to changing your own personal history. Au contraire, mon frere! There are HUGE repercussions. Believe me, I know, I’ve often entertained the idea of going back an hour and having a conversation with myself, but it can’t happen!

Let me give you an example. Say you fail a math test. So you go back and give yourself the answers so that you score a 100%. Okay, well now, the version of you that failed the test doesn’t exist. So now, you can’t go back and give yourself the answers, because you don’t exist. So since you didn’t give yourself the answers, you failed the test. So you go back and give yourself the answers. But now, you don’t exist, so you can’t. So you fail the test…it’s an endless circle! It’s called a paradox, and that sh*t will rip apart the universe. (And don’t think you can cheat and indirectly interfere; meddling is meddling!)

So, to review: don’t change major historical events, don’t have children with someone outside your time period, and DON’T alter your own timeline. If you just follow those three simple rules, time travel can be a pleasurable experience. Okay, that’s my rant for the day. ~TRL