This is a list of fics (by me) about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. The not shitty ones, anyway. (They’re arranged by adaptation and date published.)
The Detective’s Wish – T, 600 words. After having sex, Holmes tells Watson his dearest desire. Victorian attitudes, snuggling, and Watson being a romantic sap.
A Great Heart, As Well As Of A Great Brain – NC17, 2600 words. Takes place after the canon story, “The Adventure of the Three Garridebs”. Holmes was so afraid he’d lost his Boswell, and shows Watson how glad he was that the doctor’s bullet wound was merely superficial. Hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, and fellatio.
The Case Of The Bohemian Bachelor – T, 1600 words. Watson ponders why there are no women in Holmes’ life. He eventually figures it out.
Good Morning, John – G, 200 words. It is a cold January morning, but luckily Holmes has Watson to keep him warm. Snuggling!
The Thoroughly Imbecilic Scotland Yard – G, 404 words. Lestrade has no idea what’s going on. And he probably doesn’t want to. Oblivious!Lestrade, Holmes’s utterly bitable skin, and Watson being a trashcan as usual.
Sanctuary – G, 900 words. John goes to the library for some peace and quiet and comes into contact with a very interesting librarian. Pre-slash, alternate meeting.
Time Of My Life – NC17; 8 chapters, 30k words. While spending a summer at a camp with his alcoholic sister, John Watson falls for a beautiful dance instructor. A fusion with the movie Dirty Dancing (don’t worry, John and Sherlock are in their 20s, no underage).
Five Endearments John Watson Calls Sherlock Holmes And The One Sherlock Calls Him – T, 700 words. 5+1, pet names, fluff, domestic.
The Guy In 221B – T, 4k words. John’s upstairs neighbor plays the violin. Sherlock’s downstairs neighbor has a gorgeous singing voice. Together, they make beautiful music. But will they ever meet face to face? Alternate meeting, Sherlock being adorably shy, classic rock, flirting, and eventually making out in the laundry room.
Scarred – T, 18oo words. John catches Sherlock with his shirt off one day and finally learns about what happened to the detective in Serbia. Sherlock’s scars, John’s bullet wound, hurt/comfort, and Sherlock confessing his love. Plus sonnet 116.
Sweet Caroline – T, 6600 words. Someone is killing engaged couples in London, and Sherlock and John have to pose as fiancés to each other to catch the culprit. Based on ACD’s “The Solitary Cyclist”. Fake relationship that culminates in a real love confession.
Curiouser And Curiouser (And Definitely Not Boring) – T, 1200 words. A brief fusion of BBC Sherlock and Alice In Wonderland.
The Greatest Of These – NC17, 5k words. A “Reichenbach Fall” fix-it. After seven weeks of being “dead”, Sherlock comes back to John. A teary reunion, love confession, and sex.
On The Edge – NC17, 1034 words. Porn without plot. John and Sherlock having kinky (consensual) sex. Handcuffs, edging, spanking, soft dominant John.
Oh, I Think That I Found Myself A Cheerleader – NC17, 1050 words. Porn without plot. Sherlock in a cheerleader costume and ladies’ underwear having sex with John. Teenage AU (NOT underage; they’re both 18).
Sweet – NC17, 520 words. John gives Sherlock a cute nickname (and morning head).
Dare Not Speak Its Name (series) – M, 6 works, ~5000 words. A series of six stories about John and Sherlock pining for each other and eventually getting together spanning over the events of series 3 and afterward (not series 4 compliant). The missing gay bar scene from stag night, Harry Watson, villain Mary, Moriarty, and a happy ending.
The Closest Thing To A Friend – G, 1000 words. An alternate way “The Great Game” could’ve gone. In short, Sherlock is shocked to learn that John has been the mysterious Moriarty all along. Crack treated seriously.
The Singing Detective – M, 11 chapters, ~22k words. Based on ACD’s “The Dying Detective”. John is a new father and unhappy in his marriage while secretly pining for Sherlock. Meanwhile, Culverton Smith has drugged London’s tea supply, and now people are randomly bursting into musical numbers. That’s right – it’s a Sherlock musical. (Villain Mary, Parentlock, background Lestrade/Molly, and a happy ending for everyone…except Mary.)
He’s All That – T, 9 chapters, ~15k words. When John Watson, captain of the rugby team and most popular guy in school, gets dumped by his longtime girlfriend Mary, he makes a bet that he can get Sherlock Holmes, ballet nerd and most unpopular boy in school, elected as prom royalty in her place. But there’s a catch – John didn’t expect to fall in love with him. A fusion with the 1999 teen romcom She’s All That.
Shower For One – NC17, 1700 words. Porn without plot. Sherlock has a fantasy about John in the shower, but sometimes fantasies can become realities. Sherlock wanking and John being a total sex god.
Dopplegangland – NC17, 5 chapters, 8500 words. While on vacation in Scotland, Sherlock meets a very flirtatious photographer who looks exactly like his flatmate and best friend who he’s secretly in love with. John, who is also secretly in love with Sherlock, is not amused. Crossover with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (and Cabin Pressure!). Dopplegangers, jealous John, wonderfully trashy Iain MacKelpie being a shameless flirt with Sherlock, and John and Sherlock finally quit being idiots and just confess their feelings already. Oh, and sex. Lots of sex.
Angel Of The Battlefield (series) – NC17, 4 works, 7307 words. A series about soldier John Watson, who was killed in battle, then rescued from Hell by a beautiful angel named Sherlock (Destiel, anyone?). Mostly just porn, though.
At The Mercy Of The Gods’ Design – M, ~3000 words. The goddess of love, Irene, holds a grudge against the son of the queen, Sherlock. So she casts a love spell on the queen’s young consort, John, Sherlock’s friend and stepfather. A Johnlock retelling of Phaedra and Hippolytus. No incest or pedophilia or anything squicky, and a happy ending.
“military men making love” – NC17, 2000 words. Sherlock finds John Watson and James Sholto’s sex tape. John finds Sherlock wanking to it. SHERLOCK’S MILITARY KINK.
Human – G, 343 words. John holding Sherlock while he’s asleep and admiring how beautiful he is.
My Hero – T, 2500 words. Sherlock is nursing a huge crush on his mild-mannered flatmate. Meanwhile, the local superhero seems mighty infatuated with Sherlock. Too bad John won’t show interest like that. Super!John and Sherlock being sweet and wonderful.
Chain of Command – NC17, 2574 words. Sherlock/John/James Sholto. Sherlock has a naughty dream about John and his ex-lover James. Polyamory, light BDSM, submissive Sherlock.
In Sickness And In Health – T, 1300 words. It’s Sherlock and John’s wedding day. But of course, disaster strikes. (John gets into an auto accident on the way to the chapel and he and Sherlock just get married right there in the hospital room.)
It’s A Love Story, Baby, Just Say Yes – T, 2319 words. Sherlock and John were best friends as children, and had a favorite game where Sherlock was a damsel in distress and John was the knight in shining armor. But they drift apart and when Sherlock is all grown up, he realizes he’d quite like to be kissed by the handsome knight. Slight song fic, slight 5+1. Kidlock, Teenlock, puppy love, bullies (not John), happy ending. NO underage.
Duck – T, 12 chapters, 2722 words. Taking place after “The Six Thatchers”. Sherlock suddenly has a boyfriend, John refuses to talk about anything, and Mary isn’t such a martyr after all. Not series 4 compliant but sure as hell better than TFP.
Mirror Mirror – G, 1138 words. John introduces Sherlock to Star Trek: The Original Series, and Sherlock points out some awkward parallels to themselves, and Kirk and Spock. Who are obviously in love with each other, according to Sherlock. Johnlock and Spirk in one fic, a bit meta. Crack.
The End – T, 300 words. In which the events of “The Final Problem” were all a dream. In fact, the whole show after “A Study In Pink: Gay Pilot Edition” was a dream. If you hate series 4/TFP as much as I did, you might like this salty little ficlet. My last BBC Sherlock fic ever.
The One Fixed Point – T, 1300 words. Holmes and Watson are soulmates, no matter the universe. (Multiple iterations of Holmes and Watson, including BBC Sherlock, Elementary, the Guy Ritchie films, and even The Great Mouse Detective.)