5/31/16

Last post of May!

So, it’s time for a little rant. So, I drove up to Waco, Texas, today to run an errand, and I thought, since rent is due tomorrow, I’d run down to my apartment complex to pay it.

Now, I usually pay it online, but today I went into the front office to pay it. But apparently…they don’t take credit cards there. I’m like, it’s the 21st century and y’all don’t take f**king credit cards?

So the receptionist tells me I can only my card online. So I have to go back outside (in the pouring rain) to get my laptop out of the car, then I go upstairs to my flat to log on onto my Wi-Fi to pay on the website.

Except that the elevator’s broke down.

So I slog up 4 flights of stairs (several times, long story), and I get into my apartment, I get on the website…

Rent’s not posted yet.

Sigh.

You have one job: take my money. Get it together, apartment complex.

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“The Doctor & Her TARDIS” – A New Webseries!

If you follow me on Twitter (@CatieTheAwesome), then you already know that I am playing the Master in a Doctor Who fan series online! It’s written by and stars my dear friend Sophia Tallon as the Doctor, and I think it’s going to be great. I’ve already read some sides for my character, and it looks to be quite promising. It’s got some old characters you love (*gestures to self*) with some all new, original players in the mix. Anyway, I think it’s going to be brilliant.

If you want to support us, you can give to our Kickstarter here (and see a special promo vid starring yours truly!), or our Patreon here, you can follow the project’s official Twitter account (@DrInHerTARDIS), and I may as well mention right here right now that I now have a fan page on Facebook, which you check out here.

More updates to come! Stay tuned! ~TRL

Review: “Captain America: Civil War”

***The following blog post is rated “S” for “Spoilers”.***

First thing I want to say is…

CIVIL WAR IS IN MY TOP TWO M.C.U. MOVIES AT THE MOMENT. IN FACT…

*looks around to check if the coast is clear*

…it might have been better than The Avengers.

*is burned at the stake for blasphemy*

Okay, crack time over. After Avengers: Age of Ultron, literally 90 minutes of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes sitting around eating schwarma would have appeased me (sorry, Joss, still love you!). But even if CACW had followed a GOOD movie, I still would’ve thoroughly enjoyed it. It was fantastic!

I thought that including so many MCU characters would ruin the mix, but each was utilized like a master chef treating his spice array: chosen selectively, and measured out precisely to where there was just enough to add flavor, but not so much that it overpowered the dish. I even kind of enjoyed Spiderman, and for me, that’s saying something.

The dialogue was brilliant and witty, and the character arcs made sense. They actually made Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff willingly complying with the government work, which was something I initially had my doubts about. Even the Scarlet Witch/Vision scenes worked for me. The whole “we’re both uncontrollable destructive forces whose tendencies for good or evil have yet to be determined” thing was much more well played that Romanoff and Bruce Banner’s “we’re both monsters” angle from AAoU and didn’t imply that being unable to bear children makes a woman a monster. The only thing I have really have to complain about is the bullshit kiss between Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter. Like, I know there was some flirtation in Winter Soldier, but she was literally living a lie the whole time to spy on him for S.H.I.E.L.D., and it seems like the two hadn’t seen each other since that time. Let’s be real: it was only put in to dispel the theories that Steve and Bucky were a gay couple.

But speaking of that…STUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (Was anyone else singing “My Heart Will Go On” when Bucky goes in the cryogenics tank?)

And oh my God! T’Challa! I love him! I cannot wait for the Black Panther movie! And of course, my trash son, Everett Ross! Martin Freeman had about five minutes of screen time, but he managed to steal every one of them. I may or may not have been the first author on ArchiveOfOurOwn to write an Everett Ross/Stephen Strange fic. And Scott Lang, my darling! Gi-Ant-Man! And Sam Wilson! And Hawkeye! And…yeah, okay, fine, Spidey was good. He’s a total loser, as Peter Parker should be, but he had some great moments. His “that shield defies the laws of science!” and “Mr. Stark told me to aim for the legs” lines had me bawling with laughter. Because it’s fucking true. Cap’s shield gets lost all the time and then it magically reappears in Steve’s hand the next time he needs it, and he always, always manages to throw it at the perfect angle for it to bounce back to him, and when he’s using it to block enemy shots, no one shoots his fucking legs which he leaves totally exposed. And I’m constantly pointing that out. No, pointing out plot holes and making them into a joke doesn’t negate the fact that the holes are there, but it’s still funny as hell. It’s too bad Spidey’s a kid because now he’s too young for Wade Wilson. Sigh…

But seriously. Please put Everett Ross and Stephen Strange in a scene together. My Johnlock trash soul needs it. ~TRL

4-30-16

Hey, guys. I’m just going to be a little introspective here.

So, I’m an artist. And being an artist, as my professor always says, means taking risks. But lately, I’ve noticed, I’ve been curling more and more into myself at the fear of failure. Too afraid to sing out, or try for a part in a play, or even answer a question because I’m just so scared.

You know, all my life, I’ve had nothing but people at every turn telling me how wrong I am. That I’ll never do better than second place, I’ll never quite make the mark, I can’t do anything right – okay. Maybe that’s not people. Maybe that’s me. But all my little failures and embarrassments over the years have just built up and built up and built up into this inferiority complex. You’re not smart. You’re not capable. You can’t do anything. Why do you bother getting up in the morning? Just stay in bed and binge on Netflix forever. You’ll never be good enough, at anything. Just stop.

It’s the reason why I haven’t been able to bring myself to practice my music or memorize any lines for anything lately, because I am just so sad and so tired of fighting for nothing and so beaten. I didn’t know, at first, what was wrong with me. I used to be so driven. I just feel like a chump in everyone’s eyes. A nothing. A big, fat, loser.

Then I realized: they see me that way because I see me that way. I have taught myself to believe that I can’t accomplish anything, so I don’t work hard, and then I fail, and then people believe that I’m a loser, which makes me believe I’m a loser, which makes me give up, which makes me fail…and so on, and so on, and so on.

I used to watch this cartoon when I was little, called Rescue Heroes. And there was one episode, one quote, that always stuck with me: “The only real failure is giving up.”

Maybe I’m the one who has to break this vicious cycle. And no, it’s not so easy to believe in yourself, to learn how to love yourself. But I have to believe that there’s hope. And maybe…that has to start with me. ~TRL