Movie Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Holy sh*t, you guys. I can’t even. I cannot even. I am unable to even. I have lost my ability to even. I am no longer able to even. I am incapable of evening.

In other words…this movie is f**king awesome.

First of all, would just like to point out that this cast is frickin’ stellar.  We got headliner Chris Pratt, Avatar and Star Trek‘s Zoe Saldana, Bautista from WWE (In another life, I was a pro-wrestling fan, okay?), Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper (surprisingly good as a CGI raccoon), and KAREN FREAKING GILLAN AKA AMY POND FROM DOCTOR WHO.

Just the cast alone makes this movie worth watching, but the special effects and the action scenes add so much zest to this flick. Not to mention cameos from “The Other” from The Avengers (you know, Loki’s boss?), the Collector, and plus, if you look close enough, you might catch a glimpse or two of Malekith (from Thor: Dark World) in the Collector’s gallery.

(I really wish Malekith and Nebula could have had a scene together, just for a moment. Just have Nine and Amy in the same room for one little second. Sorry, I’m a Whovian…if you haven’t already noticed.)

One of my favorite things about this movie is that the heroes don’t really have powers (except for Groot). Star-Lord is really just a Han Solo type, a smooth operator with some cool gadgets. Gamora is basically just green Black Widow. Drax the Destroyer is just super strong, and Rocket’s a tactician/weapons guy. They’re just five badass misfits, protecting the galaxy from tricks like Ronan and Thanos. And they’re damn good at it, too. Plus, they somehow work together better than the Avengers do. And I like that they’re not all dramatic and hung up on their personal baggage like some heroes (cough, cough, Batman). It’s like Rocket says: everyone’s got “dead people”, or whatever. They’re down to Earth (or Zandar) for the most part.

But what I wanna know is: who is Star-Lord’s dad? I know I could just go look it up in the comics or on Wikipedia, but I want to wait. I have some theories, though (probably half-cocked).

One last note: don’t bother staying for the end credits. It’s just stupid and not at all plot related.

Kay, thanks! Bye!

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