Happy Whuesday! Okay, so I finally watched “Time Of The Doctor” (Holy feels, Batman!) and I decided to write about it. Spoilers ahead.
(By the way, there were so many notes, it’s probably going to take several posts to finish this out. I’m writing this as of April 12th, so by the time you read it, it won’t be quite so up-to-date.)
Just a few IRL issues first: one, today I auditioned for a play put on by my local theatre troupe. And two, my wonderful uncle bought me a new sonic screwdriver after my first one was stolen. Shout out to Eric! 🙂 Okay, let’s get into this.
- After watching this episode, you realize it’s just a huge amalgamation (I love that word) of Matt Smith’s three seasons as the Doctor.
- The Doctor can’t translate the message. It’s supposedly in ancient Gallifreyan, which means the Doctor’s really out of practice with speaking his own language. That’s really sad if you think about it. It’s been so long since he’s had interaction with anyone from his home world.
- “Remind me to patch the telephone back through the console unit.” Then, as he is dying, Handles makes good on his promise. The first and only time a Cyberman will give you feels.
- It’s worthy to note here that Eleven is the only Doctor to actually use the police box’s built-in phone. The Doctor never even had a phone until Martha Jones gave her cell to Ten. As Nine said, the phone is a dummy. This is probably because before, the calls the phone received were “patched through” to the console unit.
- Handles says “affirmative”, reminiscent of old K-9.
- The Doctor’s a bit rusty at “being a boyfriend” and has to “glance at a manual”. This means that the Doctor probably hasn’t been with anyone since River Song. (The faithful husband. 🙂 )
- “I [invented a boyfriend] once, and there’s no easy way to get rid of an android.” This is actually an interesting statement, and one I consider a victory for my argument. A lot of people thought this line referred to Kamelion from the Fifth Doctor’s era, but I don’t think so. For one thing, the Doctor didn’t invent Kamelion, he adopted him from the Master, who in turn, stole him from the planet Xeripheus. And another thing, Kamelion wasn’t exactly an android; he was more like a semi-robotic organism. My personal opinion is…well. Okay, in the TV movie, the Master fell into the Eye of Harmony, and it was implied that his consciousness inhabited the TARDIS until he was revived by the Time Lords for the Time War. However, a non-canon cartoon series called “Scream Of The Shalka”, starring an alternate Ninth Doctor, was produced in 2003. Now, in this series, the Doctor had somehow siphoned the Master’s consciousness from his TARDIS and put it inside an android body…you see where I’m going with this? I think this line was an offhand reference to the android Master from “Shalka”. (Doctor/Master for the win!)
*Of course, it’s perfectly possible that the Doctor meant “boy friend“, but I don’t think so. While the Doctor’s only been with women onscreen, it’s not so hard to imagine that a member of an alien race where gender is subjective would be sexually flexible. Especially since there have been instances in the past (Flirting with Jack and Shakespeare, kissing Rory, offering to kiss Frank in “Daleks In Manhattan”…etc.). But, it’s just a theory.
- Clara lives in the Powell Estates…just like Rose Tyler did. (Is it possible that they and Mickey Smith were all friends? Headcanon!)
- “You’re naked!” Flashbacks to Donna and Tentoo from “Journey’s End”, anyone? (I really wanted him to say, “Oh, yes!”)
- “So you’re still naked underneath [your holographic clothes]?” “Everyone’s naked underneath.” Holy sh*t…my dad used to say the exact same thing! Am I part Time Lord?!
- Clara’s gran isn’t even phased by the Doctor’s nakedness at Christmas dinner. Why? Because she’s seen him naked before. Because Clara’s gran…is Amy Pond.
No, no, hear me out on this! First of all, Amy got sent back in time by the Weeping Angels in “The Angels Take Manhattan” with Rory. They could have moved back to England at some point and had children. Plus, it sounds like Clara’s gran has a touch of a Scottish accent. And then when she’s describing meeting her husband for the first time, she calls him “the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen”. In “The Girl Who Waited”, Amy tells her older self that Rory was the most beautiful person she’d ever met. But what really sold me was the ring. The camera gives a shot of Gran’s wedding ring, and then, in the end, when the Doctor sees Amy for the final time, the camera shows her hand…and she’s wearing the exact same ring.
If Clara’s gran really was Amy, why didn’t she say anything to the Doctor? Who knows. Maybe she figured she’d mess up the space/time continuum or something.
- The sonic screwdriver doesn’t do turkey, in addition to not doing wood.
- Also, the turkey “being done” will be important symbolism for this episode.
- “…and please, just learn how to use iPlayer.” Apparently, Clara uses the TARDIS as her own personal MP3 player. And she wonders why the TARDIS doesn’t like her.
- And the planet du jour is…Gallifrey. Thanks for giving away the entire plot of the episode, Handles. Plus, that planet is clearly not Gallifrey. Gallifrey is orange. (I know it’s Trenzalore, but they don’t know that.)
- The Doctor and Clara go to church naked. (I swear, this is a show for kids.)
- Oh, look, another space bitch the Doctor has f**ked.
- “This is my…associate, Clara Oswald.” “Associate”? Not even “friend”? Well, someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight.
- “I have confidential matters to discuss with the Doctor. Would you excuse us?” Well if that isn’t the bitchiest line of the century, I don’t know what is. Seriously, Tasha Lem belongs on a sci-fi version of Mean Girls.
- Oh sh*t, it’s the Silence…wait, what was I talking about?
- She’s pretty risqué for a space nun.
- The Doctor drinks wine and immediately spits it back into the glass. (“The Impossible Astronaut”)
- The Doctor and Clara are teleported (still naked) to a snowy planet.
- Oh, and now the Doctor and Clara are hugging for warmth…naked.
- Oh sh*t, it’s the Weeping Angels.
- Forget the Weeping Angels, the Doctor’s bald!
- Eyebrows joke.
- “Your ears are like rocket fins.” Honey, you should have seen Nine’s satellite dishes.
- Clara has a crush on the Doctor. What a surprise.
- “Doesn’t [not being able to lie] make things a bit difficult?” “No.” “Yes.” Well, only if you have something to hide…sir?
- Oh sh*t, it’s the cracks in the universe. (Okay, I’m not surprised by these twist returns anymore, Moffat. Bring back the Slitheen or the Master or some villain not from Eleven’s era, then I’ll be impressed.) But seriously, we all knew the cracks storyline wasn’t over for good. Took them long enough, though.
- Surprise! The Time Lords are trying to come back through the cracks! Except we already knew that. Thanks for the spoilers, Handles…you son of a bitch.
- “Seal of the High Council of Gallifrey, nicked it off the Master in the Death Zone.” Oh, a Five Doctors reference. I guess I’m supposed to jizz my pants now. (I actually did a little bit, I admit it. I get a little hipster over Classic Who. “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”)
- Oh, the message is also the oldest question in the universe. And I bet Darth Vadar was Luke’s dad. And Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Seriously, it’s a great twist, but it was so obvious. (By the way, no, the person saying “Doctor who?” isn’t Peter Capaldi. It’s that war general from “Day Of The Doctor”.)
Okay, this seemed like a good place to stop. Come back tomorrow for part two. Toodles!